Currently, I have a desire to do something more with my life, a desire to show myself. My twentieth birthday is approaching and I feel as if there’s something absent. But hopefully, that’s all about to change. I constructed a short list of things that I’m anticipating to accomplish by the end of the summer. (It felt necessary to put a time constraint on my aspirations, or else that would have been pretty goalless of me.)
So here it is:
1. Play tennis
2. Ride a bike
3. Eat sushi again, it really wasn’t bad.
4. Take a walk (This is the first aspiration to fulfill. It’s been a long while since I’ve had a relaxing walk, a peaceful stroll with the warm sun beating down on you, maybe even a waft of a cool breeze.)
5. Buy pastries from The Bakery. (A French bakery in Huntington, WV)
6. Pass MATH 251
7. Cut my hair (The date for this is already in place.)
8. Get a tattoo
9. Enjoy a good read. (Any suggestions? I’m open to ideas.)
"..And that's all folks.."
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
You think you have it all figured out, huh?
There are some things in this world that we just cannot change. As unfortunate as it is, it's part of life.
Recently, I have come to realize that I cannot control everything. This is not something that is easy for me to comprehend. I have control issues. Although the one thing I cannot control is myself. The way I feel, the way I speak, the way I move about my life. I have several uncontrollable "bad" habits. Really, truth is.. I could control them, or put a restraint on the them anyways, I just would rather not. It's what I'm used to.. it's what I like.. and most importantly, as fucked up as it all is, it's what makes me happy. And whether you'd like to admit it or not.. you only do what you know too. It's our comfort zone. Nothing to really be ashamed of, we can't help our innate behavior. It's something that is apart of who we are, and will always be.
"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
-Grey's Anatomy
Recently, I have come to realize that I cannot control everything. This is not something that is easy for me to comprehend. I have control issues. Although the one thing I cannot control is myself. The way I feel, the way I speak, the way I move about my life. I have several uncontrollable "bad" habits. Really, truth is.. I could control them, or put a restraint on the them anyways, I just would rather not. It's what I'm used to.. it's what I like.. and most importantly, as fucked up as it all is, it's what makes me happy. And whether you'd like to admit it or not.. you only do what you know too. It's our comfort zone. Nothing to really be ashamed of, we can't help our innate behavior. It's something that is apart of who we are, and will always be.
"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
-Grey's Anatomy
Friday, July 23, 2010
Just the Beginning
Here we go.. ready?
I don't do this too often anymore, and it's a shame. I think I filter myself more than I should at times. I'm never my true self around anyone, but you. And God, it's been way too long. At first, I was hesitant. I knew it was wrong, but something never felt so damn right. Is it true that two people can be connected as deep as the soul? When you move, I move. When you hurt, I'm in pain. When you're sad, I cry. When you inhale, I feel my lungs expand. I can't even fucking write this without feeling you in every word. You have everything I'm looking for, and everything I've found.. just wrong timing, I suppose.
Note from the Author:
I won't say this has been the hardest thing that I've had to do in the last year, but it's pretty close. Things like this don't come naturally for me anymore, and as time progresses it seems that I lose interest in what used to be the only thing that would bring me comfort. Although, I'm trying this out, giving it a shot, so give me a break. Honestly, I hope this means something different and personal for everyone that analyzes it. Basically, take what you will from it.
I don't do this too often anymore, and it's a shame. I think I filter myself more than I should at times. I'm never my true self around anyone, but you. And God, it's been way too long. At first, I was hesitant. I knew it was wrong, but something never felt so damn right. Is it true that two people can be connected as deep as the soul? When you move, I move. When you hurt, I'm in pain. When you're sad, I cry. When you inhale, I feel my lungs expand. I can't even fucking write this without feeling you in every word. You have everything I'm looking for, and everything I've found.. just wrong timing, I suppose.
Note from the Author:
I won't say this has been the hardest thing that I've had to do in the last year, but it's pretty close. Things like this don't come naturally for me anymore, and as time progresses it seems that I lose interest in what used to be the only thing that would bring me comfort. Although, I'm trying this out, giving it a shot, so give me a break. Honestly, I hope this means something different and personal for everyone that analyzes it. Basically, take what you will from it.
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